Parshat Toldot: Why Me? The Approaches of Different Commentators to Rivkah's Pain During Pregnancy

In the beginning of this week's parsha we learn of Yitzchak and Rivkah's struggles with infertility. This comes on the heels of last week's parsha when we learned the matchmaking of Eliezer when he found Rivkah in Avraham's hometown - it seemed like a perfect match. Suddenly, when it seemed like their would be a smooth transition from Avraham to Yitzchak and that the blessing Hashem bestowed on Avraham to have descendants that were as many as the stars in the sky and the dust of the earth would be carried out by Yitzchak and Rivkah, they ran into the same roadblock that had plagued Avraham and Sara.
Yitzchak and Rivkah's suffering lasted twenty years until finally she was able to conceive - only the trouble did not end there. The Torah tells us (Breishit 25:22),

ויתרצצו הבנים בקרבה ותאמר אם כן למה זה אנכי ותלך לדרוש את ה
And the children struggled within her, and she said, 'If [it be] so, why am I [like] this?' And she went to inquire of the Lord.

Rashi explains,

ויתרוצצו: על כרחך המקרא הזה אומר דורשני, שסתם מה היא רציצה זו וכתב אם כן למה זה אנכי. רבותינו דרשוהו לשון ריצה, כשהיתה עוברת על פתחי תורה של שם ועבר יעקב רץ ומפרכס לצאת, עוברת על פתחי עבודה זרה עשו מפרכס לצאת. דבר אחר מתרוצצים זה עם זה ומריבים בנחלת שני עולמות
Perforce, this verse calls for a Midrashic interpretation, for it does not explain what this struggling was all about, and [Scripture] wrote,'If it be so, why am I [like] this?' Our Rabbis (Gen. Rabbah 63:6) interpreted it [the word ויתרצצו] as an expression of running (רצה) . When she passed by the entrances of [the] Torah [academies] of Shem and Eber, Jacob would run and struggle to come out; when she passed the entrance of [a temple of] idolatry, Esau would run and struggle to come out. Another explanation: They were struggling with each other and quarreling about the inheritance of the two worlds

According to Rashi the struggling that went on inside Rivkah's womb was Yaakov and Esav trying to escape; Yaakov tried to escape when she passed by places of Torah and Esav tried to escape when she passed by places of idolatry.
Rashi explains further that when Rivkah asked, "why am I like this?" she meant,

ותאמר אם כן: גדול צער העבור
למה זה אנכי: מתאוה ומתפללת על הריון
ותלך לדרוש: לבית מדרשו של שם
לדרוש את ה': שיגיד לה מה תהא בסופה
If [it be] so: that the pain of pregnancy is so great
why am I [like] this?: [Why did I] desire and pray to conceive?
And she went to inquire: to the academy of Shem
to inquire of the Lord: that He should tell her what would happen to her in the end.

Accordingly the struggling that went on inside Rivkah's womb caused her great physical pain. The pain was so excruciating that she began to regret praying for a child in the first place. Confused and wondering what would be, she went to inquire of Hashem.
The Ibn Ezra takes a different approach than Rashi. He writes,

והיא שאלה לנשים שילדו אם ארע להם ככה, ותאמרנה לא. וטעם ותאמר אם כן הדבר והמנהג למה זה אנכי בהריון משונה
And she asked women who had given birth if they had experienced this (the excruciating pain), and they told her 'no.' When she said 'if so' she said 'if this is [not] the normal way, why do I deserve such a difficult pregnancy?'

Unlike Rashi, Ibn Ezra writes that when Rivkah proclaimed, 'why me?' she did not wonder this aloud to herself, but rather she asked friends of hers who had children if they had experienced the pain she was experiencing. When they responded that they had not, she went to ask Hashem why she deserved to have such a painful pregnancy.
Ramban, after dismissing the opinions of Rashi and Ibn Ezra offers a shocking approach. He writes,

והנכון בעיני כי אמרה אם כן - יהיה לי למה זה אנכי - בעולם, הלואי אינני, שאמות או שלא הייתי...
And what is correct in my opinion - when she said 'if so' - she meant, 'if this is what will happen to me, why am I in this world? It would better if I was not - better I should die or have never been born at all.

According to Ramban, the pain was so terrible that Rivkah said that she would have been better off dead or never born at all.
While the Ramban writes that Rivkah's struggles were emotional and psychological, the Kli Yakar, Rabbi Shlomo Efraim Luntschitz, writes that they were theological.

ויתרוצצו הבנים בקרבה וגו'. רציצה זו היה שבעוברה על פתח בית המדרש של שם ועבר יעקב מפרכס לצאת ועשו מעכב על ידו, ובעוברה על פתח עבודה זרה עשו מפרכס לצאת ויעקב מעכב על ידו, והיא סברה שאין הדבר כן אלא ולד אחד בבטנה ורוצה לצאת בין לפתחי בתי מדרשות בין לפתח עבודה זרה ואם כן חס ושלום שמא שתי רשויות יש, לפיכך אמרה למה זה אנכי כי כמוני כשאר נשים עובדי עבודה זרה ומה יתרון יש לי עליהם אם חס ושלום שתי רשויות יש, לפיכך ותלך לדרוש את ה' רצה לומר לדרוש אחר מציאות ה' ממש מהו:
And the boys struggled within her - this struggling took place because when she passed by the entrance to the Beit Midrash of Shem and Eber, Yaakov began to squirm in order to get out and Esav prevented him from doing so. When they passed by the entrances of idolatry Esav squirmed in order to get out and Yaakov prevented him from doing so. And she did not know what was really going on. She thought that there was only one child inside of her stomach and it wanted to get out when she passed by the entrances of both the Beit Midrash and the idolatrous temples and if so, God forbid, maybe there were two deites. Therefore she said, 'why am I like this?' - meaning I am like all of the other idol worshiping women, how am I any better than them if God forbid there are multiple deities? Therefore she went to inquire of Hashem - it means to say she went to inquire about the existence of God.

According to Rabbi Luntschitz, when Rivkah felt the intense kicking inside of her stomach she was unaware that there were two babies inside of her. Rivkah began to wonder if there was any significance to this strange behavior and she came to the conclusion that indeed there may be shtei reshuyot, more than one God, - there was the God of Abraham, but there were also other gods who possessed divine powers. Lamah Zeh Anochi, says the Kli Yakar, does not mean 'why me?', but rather 'how am I any different than anyone else?' Until now she had seen herself as the mother of God’s chosen people, but now she feared that there was more than one god and she was just like everyone else - she was not the wife of Yitzchak the father of a blessed people, but rather the wife of Yitzchak, a regular, run of the mill priest, who were at that time, a dime a dozen.
When Rivkah inquired of Hashem she was told that she had it all wrong; there was one God, but two babies inside of her stomach - one who would worship Hashem and the other who would be an idolater.
Given the Kli Yakar’s explanation, the most striking thing about Rivkah’s ordeal is what does not happen. God does not criticize her for having a crisis of faith, for asking questions. We therefore come to the conclusion that she did the right thing by asking such questions.
Rivkah’s pregnancy brought her to a religious crossroads, but because she was not afraid to question and God was not put off by her questioning, she was able to gain a greater appreciation of God, allowing her to be one of the mother’s of our people.